Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
