I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
