Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
