just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
