Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am mentally ready for anal.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
