great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
