he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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