For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize