His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she peed on how many people?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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