It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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