There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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