Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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