drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
