I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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