I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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