chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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