Can Purell be used as lube?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
