her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
