And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
