another moral hangover. fuck.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
