that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
my god I love twenty year old dicks
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
