It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
