this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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