Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
