Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
