She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
