If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize