The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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