matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They took my balls.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
