Sponge bath it is.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
