alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
