Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
