i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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