If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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