Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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