He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
