So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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