I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Couch. On fire.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize