Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
