Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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