So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
