Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
