Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize