That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
