i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
