Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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