Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
