Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
