Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
