i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
