peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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