So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
