Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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