I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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