if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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