tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
